Paul Dawson’s Blog

Sorry about the poor communication, but I will be walking from the HQ car park (internal one) at 8am this morning.

Long time no blog!!  I am making a habit of this, better get back on track.

Well I had a gret trip away to the West Coast and we travelled to some fabulous country (old gold mining fields).  It was the first trip away with my son without my wife, and it was a great thing for all three of us.

I did get lured into eating the wrong foods, especially after not sleeping that well, which is often when I am at my weakest.

Settled my employment dispute yesterday and althouhg not the outcome I wanted, it is good to have that finished and now I can focus on establishing up my own accounting and business advisory business.

Went to my first group session at the gym this morning, and my what a workout.  834 calories in 45 mins and I think I will feel it for a few days.  Think I have found my fitness test. 

So I really am treating this week as a new start on the challenge as I have slipped up the last couple of weeks and am looking at the next 4 weeks as a period to give it my all.  No more trips away so will be focussed and hope to make some great progress.

Still planning to do the walk on Sunday from Halswell Quarry if anybody is keen to join me.  Might get Cat to send an email out with details so you don’t have to check my blog to find it.

Well where have I been, I think my lack of blogging was a sign of my lack of focus and to some degree committment to the challenge.  Last week was a bit of a shocker for me.  I only did some decent exercise on 3 days, albeit with the toughest workout I have had so far which was a 1500 foot hill climb, although I didn’t use my watch properly so didn’t know how many calaories I burnt.  I have now just worked out how to use it properly and I pride myself on my ability to use technology (should have found a teenager!!!!!).

So didn’t we have a poor result as a group last week. Easter was just too easy to sway from the chosen path.  Why do I associate socialising with eating poor food choices so much? Anyway I am going to use the poor result last week, I actually was having a great week to start with but then put weight back on over easter, as a kick up the backside for the next few weeks and I want to make up for the lost ground. 

I went to hear Hamish Carter last night and he said that it was his failures (especially at Sydney) that drove him to his eventual success at the Olympics, so maybe we can take some lessons from there.  And the one thing he did differently in Athens was focus on the things he could control and as much as possible take himself away from the distractions of the “olympic machine”.  I think some more lessons we can learn there.

I have another mini challenge coming up this weekend as I am going away with my father and my son on a 4 wheel driving trip.  My Dad loves his food and there will be all sorts of tempations there but I MUST NOT stray.  There some committment to myself.  I wont have access to the gym but plan to do a walk each day with my son in a back pack.  Should be good for both me and my son.

As I said on the conference call I am going to do some more hill walks, after realising what a great workout they are, and will be starting next Sunday (26th April).  My thoughts at this stage would be to walk up the hill from Kennedy’s Bush (above Halswell Quarry).  For those not quite up to a reasonable hill climb there are some good small climbs around the quarry itself.  Timing wise I was thinking of starting at about 8am. 

If anybody is interested then reply to this blog and I will post some further details during the week.

I will not have access to the internet over the weekend so no blogs from me until Monday.  But I hope you all have great weekends and remind yourselves why you are doing this challenge if you are struggling a bit.  Life is worth living a long and healthy time!!!!

Well today we travelled down to Wanaka for a family Easter.  The day did not start well as my son was very upset and it took as a lot longer to get packed.  There are a lot of changes happening in our house and whilst we try to talk about these with Ollie he is still experiencing a lot of change and I think that is making him feel less secure.

This situation brought a out a lot of emotions for all 3 of us and it wasn’t pretty.  So after getting on the road, with my son screaming, turning around again thinking we can’t do the trip to Wanaka with him like this, then calming him and getting back on the road he strated up aain.  This was also at a time when my wife and I were having some disagreements.  It is amazing how much we can project onto our loved ones.

So we got half an hour down the road and ran into a big que of traffic (there was an accident on the Rakaia Bridge which must have backed traffic up for at least 10kms).

But we did think maybe we turned around because we (probably more like my wife) were tuning into the accident and maybe if we had continued the first time we would have been involved?

Anyway a lot of healing was done with the talking time and we continued to Wanaka stopping for some Salmon (which took an hour) and some lunch at Geraldine.

Finally arrived in Wanaka just before 7pm.

I suppose the lesson out of the day was that we needed that time together as a family and that things shouldn’t be rushed.  I am normally in the mindest of get to where I am going as fast as I can, but I really enjoyed the journey yesterday and it was such a gorgeous day for driving past the lakes and southern alps.

Arrived at my Mum’s place where my sister had cooked up a seafood feast.  But I kept to one serving and didn’t eat the potatoes or other things that weren’t on the plan but I did enjoy one glass of red wine.

Educating the whole family on the palm method and my challenge experince so far and very much looking forward to a 2 hour hill climb today.

Hope you all are having warming and relaxing easters.

Till tomorrow.

Really warmed by the group catch up last night.  I very much am a face to face person and although it takes me a little while to feel comfortable with new people (that is my cancer moon) I really enjoyed hearing the stories and getting to know people a bit more.  It has also really encouraged me to get onto other people’s blogs more too.  I have been a bit self focussed lately with my redundancy and trying to find some work and the challenge so looking forward to connecting more with others over the coming weeks.

My week has been a bit up and done and it was only a 72% effort week which was down on last week but I expected that and will not beat myself up about it just get motivated for the next week.

My summary after 3 weeks:

• Weight loss so far – 7kg
• Comfort with eating plan – very good and 90% committment (room for improvement there)
• Exercise – loving it, although some niggles in the body so will have to watch that, also need to push myself to the next level
• Sleep – really listened to Cush about sleep on the call the other night and my sleep sucks at the moment, I think an evening meditation should help with that.  I have a very busy mind and so much to think about at the moment.  Also a lot of emotions for me around redundancy (anger and grief) and starting my own business (excitement & trepidation)
• Aliveness – I think I was a walking zombie before, definitely a new more man and mor elike my true self.

Challenges for this week:

• Stick to the plan over easter
• Do some big bike rides in Wanaka – calorie burn +
• Book appointment with naturopath and get supplements
• Meditate to help with sleep
• Aiming for a big week – 2kg loss or more

One final note – one thing I said last night which I want to record and remember is how much this challenge also makes us better people and for me that is a much bigger motivator than the weight loss, but then I don’t have as much to lose as others.  You are all a great bunch of people and I love being a part of this challenge.  Getting all emotional here, which is actually a strength for males not a weakness!!  Have some personal experience around that issue with my brother committing suicide 11 years ago because he didn’t feel he could talk to anyone about his feelings.

Well today has been a day of weariness, excitement and trepidation.

Realising how tough a market it is out there for a new business but definitely still believe in what I am doing. 

Was good to get back to the gym this morning and it is great to have my polar watch back from being repaired as I haven’t known how many calories I am burning in my workouts.  I was nicely surprised to see that my 40 min workout chewed through 500 kcals.

Went to jumping beans with my son today which was great.

Still no resolution on my redundancy but hoping will achieve that tomorrow.

Off to bed as need some sleep, 3 years of high stress and trying to battle different agendas is catching up with me.

Didn’t get to my meditation retreat as felt it was more important to spend time with the family after not seeing much of them during the week.

Feeling quite shattered today (physically) so decided to have a day off the exercise and just having a quiet one.  Haven’t had a good weekend with missing meals and not drinking enough, water, drinking too much coffee but have had some great chats re the future and developing my ideas fast.

Hoping I can get some resolution tomorrow in my redundancy dispute.

Then I can get on with the most exciting phase of my life to date.

Hope you are all having good weekends and very much looking forward to he catch up on Wednesday in Chch.

Well today was a very emotional and a very cleansing day.  My last day at work and the end of an era as after 24 years in business the company ceased today to be taken over by another company with new owners on Monday.  I started the day with a good workout and then caught up with a friend and instead of the normal 2 coffes and bagel I had a fruit salad and peppermint tea for breakfast, and felt great for it.

I must say though today I really felt awful after the beers and nachos last night, my body was really yelling at me “why the hell did you do that?”.  I spent most of my day clearing out my things, cleaning up my computer and emailing people with my new contact details.

We then had a staff lunch which I enjoyed spending that time with my colleagues.  I had spent a fair part of the night going through what I would say and that prepared me well.  I really put my heart on my sleeve and gave an emotive, honest but constructive speech which really encouraged every one there to  to work well as a team and succeed for each other.  As much as I was still angry and didn’t want that to spoil my last day with my colleagues.  I feel really proud of myself for the way I have handled this week and I do hope I have made a positive difference to the company on leaving.

David and Goliath

Well the other story is my redundancy negotiations and it is fair to say that didn’t go as well.  The company that are taking over are an American company with American corporate tactics (bullying).  They wouldn’t budge on the minimum payout and I ended up after make a very strong argument that I would have to leave it up to my lawyer.  I must admit that nothing motivates me more then an injustice (albeit I might be biased), well maybe apart from the 112 day challenge. 

So, apart from a little settlement to negotiate, that is the end of 3 hard years working in a place where I couldn’t utilise my skills fully and which didn’t feed my soul.

Looking forward to the start of my next phase of work on Monday and am going to really enjoy time with my family over the weekend, after the gym of course.

Keep up the good work  everyone.

And I have really appreciated the support this week.

Well here I am at 5am in the morning writing my blog for yesterday because I can’t sleep.  I was going to skip the gym this morning because I had a night out with my team last night, and I didn’t adhere to the challenge.  But since I am up and awake I will be off to the gym to work off the beer and nachos.

Yesterday was a tough day but also very empowering.  I saw a lawyer about my redundancy and she feels I have a strong case and I then went and negotiated, albeit with someone who has no authority.  As much as I felt very angry and emotional, I channelled this into being strong about my case and giving some very blunt but constructive criticism to the former CEO.

I haven’t let this situation affect how I am with my colleagues and I am looking forward to my last day at work with them today and I really want to enjoy it.  I have been lying in bed thinking about my leaving speech and it is going to be a beauty.  Just thinking about that has made me realise just how strong my leadership skills are an how I need to be in a situation where I can use them properly.

My ideas for my own business are developing fast and it is amazing how the universe works as so many things seemed to be timed perfectly for me.  I will share more of that in the next few days.

Thinking about going on a meditation retreat this weekend to give me some space to work through my emotions and focus on my souls purpose.

Today will be a sad but enjoyable day and I am going to make the most of it.  I just hope my settlement doesn’t drag on but I will deal with it if it does.

Some stats:

Effort-o-meter

Todays’ score 67%

Week 2 score 74%

Week 2 weight loss 2.2kg

Been a very hard day today.  Was at work but felt very difficult being there and there was a staff briefing to announce changes and redundancy and it felt very hard beign with the staff when my redundancy was announced.  Wanting to blast those giving the message but held it together.

I know this a great opportunity for me but very much in the grieving process today which feels right to be here.  Boy did I have a good workout today.  I have indulged in a couple of chocolates as comfort food but kept it to a minimum even though I wanted to indulge more.

Looking forward to tomorrow and the end of the week when hopefully negotiations will be completed.

Will be using the gym in the morning to release a bit more anger.

Thanks for supportive comments and ideas.  It all helps.